Normal Wear and Tear

Just curious.  I’m looking for some examples for the 2nd edition of my Alabama Landlord’s Desk Reference.  What is the craziest argument a tenant has ever made to you regarding something in the premises being “just normal wear and tear?” 

One of my office tenants, for example, once told me that holes left in the silk wallpaper by GIANT nails used to hold up a bulletin board, and spilled toner staining the pale gray carpet all around a copier, were normal wear and tear.  He tried to tell me that all offices needed bulletin boards, and all copiers leaked toner, so I should have expected these things. If I expected them, they were normal wear and tear.  I was not impressed. The judge was not impressed. I got my money, but it took awhile.

So, what has a tenant told you with a perfectly straight face, that you found incredible?