Time for a Joke


Every now and then, I lighten up a little bit. Here’s a joke someone sent me today.

THE  TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

30. When I  retire, I’m movin’ north.

29. Oh I  just couldn’t, she’s only sixteen.

28. I’ll  take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

27. Duct  tape won’t fix that.

26. Come to  think of it, I’ll have a Heineken

25. We don’t  keep firearms in this house.

24. You  can’t feed that to the dog.

23. No kids  in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.

22.  Wrestling is fake.

21. We’re  vegetarians.

20. Do you  think my gut is too big?

19. I’ll  have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

18. Honey,  we don’t need another dog.

17. Give me  the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many  deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just  couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the  fat off that steak.

13.  Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The  tires on that truck are too big.

11. I’ve got  it all on the C: DRIVE.

10.  Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My  fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.

8. I’ve got  two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7.  Checkmate

6. She’s too  young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey,  here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.

4. Honey, did I give you the opera tickets?

3. You  Guys.

2. Those  shorts really ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE  NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

1. I don’t  have a favorite college team.